You’d think that on a day where my half of my fantasy team was crippled by injury (or injury-induced-ineffectiveness), that I’d be filled with sadness. But, I am not: all thanks to the Bills’ first victory over the Pats in two-thousand, nine-hundred and forty-one days. (I was 26. ”Shake Ya Tailfeather” by Nelly was the number one song in America. ESPN.com looked like THIS. Facebook and Twitter did not exist.)
It is in this spirit of this ridiculous post-victory, undefeated, quart-of-Yeungling hysteria that I am here to announce the KELLY’S HEROES FIRE SALE.
That’s right, gentlemen. Now is your chance to take advantage of our delirium and snag a player of your choice for the bargain basement price of ONE BUFFALO BILL.
- Larry: Vick for Fitzpatrick, straight up.
- HBK: Let’s trade Jacksons, and I’ll throw in any Chief on my team for free!
- Trav: How does Maclin and Britt for Stevie “Big Butt Lover” Johnson, sound? (Move fast, before Reed sweeps in with a proposal for David Nelson!)
Our phones and inboxes are open and awaiting your offers. No price is too high, no stat is too low. Hurry — as this offer will likely last only as far as Mister Bills Wild Ride takes us**.
**Week Six at the latest.